Marvellously LOVED by my parents

Thank You, God for my Dad and Mom..

Mereka berdua sangat perhatian ke aku. Klo takinget-inget sekarang akeh wes... hal2 kecil seng bikin aku ngerasa klo aku bener2 disayang... wakakakkak... (namane juga anak e ya pasti disayang wes...)

Aku pernah cuci sepatu (sepatuku, sepatune adikku, sandalku, n sandal e mamaku), trus tiba2 Papaku menghampiri dan menawarkan untuk mencucikan... Aku disuruh siap2 segera mandi ae...

Mamaku walau aku ga ngom secara jelas, tapi ngerti aku pingin apa n perhatian klo oo, ni lipglossku sudah mau habis, tau2 aku sudah dibelikan... padahal aku ga minta...

Papaku, tidak peduli dia lagi lembur atau lagi dimana, dia selalu menyempatkan diri buat mengantar dan menjemput aku... Jadi aku biasane sebisa mungkin pulang ato berangkat sendiri... daripada liat papaku wira-wiri...

Mamku sangat perhatian ma aku makan ato gak... Pernah mamaku pergi keluar kota, kebetulan di rumah ga ada makanan, sebelum e mamaku wes telpon pas aku masi di kantor, nanti telponO ini ae lho... minta kirim. Pas di telpon aku lupa tanya berapa no telp, ternyata di rumah sudah ada note sing ditulisi no telp rumah makan itu...

Dan banyak hal2 lainnya lagi...

Love both of you, too...

Still Smile

Always try your best to get whatever you love. Otherwise, you'll be FORCED to love whatever you get.

To let go, I DON'T need strength. What I need is F A I T H and an understanding of Gods will.

When someone loves you, you feel strength. But when you step out and love someone... that requires courage.

Crying doesn't indicate that I'm W E A K. Since birth, it has always been a sign that I'm alive.

Sometimes, the best way to stay close to someone I love is by being just a friend. Nothing more, nothing less.

It doesn't matter how many times have you said it to me, I still smile when I heard those "3 words" from you.

When you thought I wasn't looking

by Mary Rita Schilke Korzan


When you thought I wasn’t looking
You hung my first painting on the refrigerator
And I wanted to paint another.

When you thought I wasn’t looking
You fed a stray cat
And I thought it was good to be kind to animals.

When you thought I wasn’t looking
You baked a birthday cake just for me
And I knew that little things were special things.

When you thought I wasn’t looking
You said a prayer
And I believed there was a God that I could always talk to.

When you thought I wasn’t looking
You kissed me good-night
And I felt loved.

When you thought I wasn’t looking
I saw tears come from your eyes
And I learned that sometimes things hurt—
But that it’s alright to cry.

When you thought I wasn’t looking
You smiled
And it made me want to look that pretty too.

When you thought I wasn’t looking
You cared
And I wanted to be everything I could be.

When you thought I wasn’t looking
I looked . . .
And wanted to say thanks
For all those things you did
When you thought I wasn’t looking.


Source: Paulo Coelho's blog

hidden feeling

I miss U sooo much !
why don't u ever understand that ?
if I'm not texting u...it means I'm waiting for u to msg me !
if I'm not speaking to u..it means I want u to talk to me !
why can't u understand my feelings which I can't express ?
... ... why can't u ever feel them ?
it seems like u chose to act blind to my feelings... or rather should I say.. unexpressed and Hidden Feelings !!

I wish I could explain to you how I felt, because every night before I go to bed, you're all I think about.

I say “I don’t care” because... my pride won’t let me show you how much I need you.

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm my hearth or burn down my house, I can never tell.

You know you love someone when you save their texts and re-read them when no one is watching.

Celtic Woman - Amazing Grace

Hectic Days

Wwwooooo... Lately I really had hectic days, starting from Sunday, till today...

Papa Bear, rasane kali ini aku seng ngerjain Koko. Wakakakakka... Tebakan e bener2 melenceng, hahaha... Who is Garmatin?? That's still a mystery. You won't be able to guess it correctly.

Once i had a dream of seeing you dating with a girl, Diam. She has a long blond straight hair. She looks so astonishing with her pale beauty. I remember I had this dream when I got no reply from you... Then the next day, I thought maybe that you have already had some1 as your crush... "tak tugas sek yow." "mission complete"

Tuhan, berkumpul dengan Mudika bener2 membuatku berpikir. Aku benar2 bebas tertawa saat berkumpul bersama mereka.. Dulu di GENX juga seperti itu... sejak kapan jadi seperti ini yach?? Sejak aku menunjukkan kecemburuanku... DIAM keliatannya COOL COOL aja. Aku n Why yang ribut2 sendiri. This roller coaster should stop, I said to my heart. I am trying, Lord.

Hhmmmm, Lord, you remind me maybe the first thing that you should do is to reconcile everything is to forgive and to restore your relationship with Why.
You had and have always whispered in my heart.. but I don't wanna listen, till now.
Even today, I am trying to be good to her, but then that negative thoughts just come out, I couldn't plan it, it just come out, I also couldn't curb it. This is abt KokBa's birthday gift. Tomorrow is his birthday. ( I am not pretty sure actually... ).

Yea, tentang GENX ini sebenere not dat compli... Wanna lay down everything before you feet, Lord... :))

Trust U full

Sesuatu... Sir Cake of Courage... (Ganti nama panggung Mr Twist of Fate mu dg ini... hahaha...) Trust You full to get thru this, God...

Hallo, hari ini aku pergi dengan anak2 mudika... Tuhan, jujur sebenarnya aku tidak percaya diri menghadapi teman2ku... sepertinya aku seperti anak kecil saja... but, that's ME..

Jalan2 ke TP dan juga main bom bom car... aku benar2 senang berkumpul bersama mereka... Kita memang berkumpul karena kita berteman tanpa ada rasa apa2... tertawa sampai perut sakit karena tidak ada keputusan tentang kemana kita mau pergi... Setiap orang punya tujuan sendiri2... sampai Dettol bingung ( Once i fell for you Dettol, now you have already had a gf... I am happy for you... WYATB...) kamu sudah memutar mobilmu sampai berapa kali... hahaha...

Diam, kamu memang yang pertama yang membuatku berani melewati zona nyamanku... Semua itu terjadi karena Night Watcher club... 2 girls, 1 boy and 1 man... it never occur to me that things will turn out like this...

God, i wish I could be more REAL open with other... If i only count on my own capability, I will fail. Please help me... I trust You full. You know what's best for me... ( Somehow tonight i hope and then fall again... God, tonight actually i want to ask why? why? to Diam, but i don't have that courage... God, you understood me best... God, i am OK... hahaha... I wish i wont be mellow... God, if he is there, give him courage... otherwise please tuntun aku to pick the right path... )

Aku pingin berteman, tapi rupanya tidak mudah buat begitu.. perasaan selalu terbawa... ya, aku harus bbm dengan orang lain (berlatih berteman... freak yach?? hahaha... but that's true) juga saat BBM an dg mu... Jujur, batas antara fren n lover, aku masi ga bisa tarik garis... sebab aku ga banyak berteman dg cowo, tepatnya nyaris ga pernah deket dg cowo...

Wakakaka... ni emang personal diary... karena tu aku nulis nya lompat2.. tergantung yang ada di pikiranku... Tadi aku ditanyai oleh arek2 mudika "what criterias" Tuhannnn, they're smaller than me but they're more mature.. (apa tidak terbalik??)

... that there are times when a change of direction is for your highest good. It takes courage to change direction. Choose the path your heart agrees with and walk with your head high and your eyes open. Don't be afraid. @Message from God.

Okeee, start from this point onward I will put everything in place...
1. I hope I can earn more money from giving tuition
2. I wanna learn how to drive
3. I wanna be pretty
4. I wanna forget this matter, I wanna meet n get to know and get closer to some1 new.. (Some1 like Garmatin)----> Suka ngomel, tapi bisa kugodain, mengerti aku, dan tegas, klo bisa tinggi min sama mbe aku... hehehe... n seiman (kan aku selalu membayangkan kita sekeluarga masuk gereja bersama...)
Like how I get closer to Garmatin, I hope it will happen that way... AMIN.

God, honestly i am not ready for m*****g*. GOd, you understand all there in my heart. I trust U full. God, I wanna know more people n please show me the one that really capture my heart... Like how I get closer to Garmatin, I hope it will happen that way... I trust You full.

[ENGSUB] I Will Forget You - Park Shin Hye & Jung Yong Hwa - Heartstring...

[ThaiSub] I Will Forget You - Park Shin Hye Heartstring

Heartstrings OST: Because I Miss You (Jung Yong Hwa of CN Blue)

Always, under exactly the same sun
And always the same day
Other than you are not being here
there's nothing different at all
I just want to smile,
Want to forget everything
Just like absolutely nothing has happened
Smiling to live my days
Longing for you, I am longing for you

Reff:
Because I am longing for you
Everyday, all by myself
Calling and calling you
Missing you, I am missing you
Because I am missing you
Now it's like I have a habit,
Keep calling out your name
Even today.

I thought I'd let go
not leaving anything behind
No, no, now I still can't let you go
Reff:

Everyday, it feels like I'm gonna die
What should I do?
Love you, love you
I love you
I hadn't even spoken the words
I just let you go
Sorry, sorry
Do you hear my words?
My late confession,
Can you hear it?
I love you
I love you

[HD] Park Shin Hye - I Will Forget You (Heartstrings) w/ Lyrics

Finish it 1 by 1

Yuupppp.....

First, about Why, I can not do much.... My negative feeling and thought about her, I can't control it... I left that matter to you...

Ya, itu adalah kalimat yang baru kutulis saat hendak ke gereja... Engkau menjawabnya langsung... tapi, Bapa, aku sudah mencobanya... Dan Engkau selalu mengetes aku selanjutnya... Yang terjadi adalah saat pikiran mengontrol tindakanku, aku lulus tes, aku tidak bersikap dingin... bener2 tidak dendam... tapi cuma bertahan sebentar saja, Bapa, selanjutnya aku tidak bisa tidak berpikir negatif.. karena sejauh ini, aku tidak berpikir sampai sana, tetapi Why sudah memikirkannya... dan aku merasa terperangkap... Doaku tetap, untuk hal ini aku tidak bisa mengandalkan aku sendiri... bantu aku... (hehehe...)
Orang yang lemah tidak akan pernah dapat memaafkan orang lain, karena
"memaafkan" hanya bisa dilakukan oleh orang yang kuat. @MyQuotesDaily
Belajarlah dari anak-anak, mereka begitu cepat memaafkan orang lain, padahal mereka baru saja berkelahi,namum tak berapa lama, mereka sudah bermain kembali bersama- Lifelatos

Second, about flower... You r selfish.. you r spontaneous... you speak so frankly... honestly, I hold no more anger towards you, but ONE BIG BIG question remain... should I be the 1st one to say hello to you AGAIN AGAIN??

Kemaren aku inget pertengkaran kita... ga, biar aja tunggu aku punya ide buat ngusili kamu, baru aku sapa kamu...
Siang ini, ternyata sendiri tu ga enak.. dan jujur aku kehilangan tiangku... tapi jek gengsi... soal e inget lagu seng kamu tulis... gak... kamu terlalu enak sendiri, mosok aku lagi seng nduluin?? lagian kemaren kamu juga ga balas smsku tapi besok e balas sms e "you know who".
Malam ini, ternyata kamu mau dititipi.. ga perhitungan... LUMER wes aku... I will call you...
Indahnya sahabat sejati ketika,
ada sapa dalam diam ...
ada senyum dalam kebersamaan...
ada canda dalam pertemuan...
ada rindu saat berjauhan...
(Lifelatos)
Good friends are like Tom & Jerry sometimes crap keeps them apart, but they always come back together! #DamnItsTrue

Third, about Diam,
Diam, you are the 1st boy whom I can talk nonsense... it's funny...
But, Diam, we are only close to each other in BBM, and still---same thing happened to me---it's always me who make the first move...
I love when the guy I like texts me first, it means they're thinking about me. #DamnItsTrue
Diam, in reality... I don't have the courage to approach you.. Why is always there..
(You seemed to be comfortable with her, and she will always be there and ready to do anything for you, she does not have the principle that I have). Girl should not make the 1st move, that's my principle...
Ladies.. The proof of passion is pursuit! If a man REALLY wants to be with you, he finds a way! Keep your dignity! #ihatequotes

Jujur, kamu tipe yang suka diperhatiin... Why bisa lebih baik dalam hal itu... soale aku tu bukan orang seng perhatian, soal jalan, HP, tempat makan... kamu tanya aku hal itu pasti aku ga bisa jawab.. klo Why selalu bisa jawab...
Kadang aku mikir emang yang terbaik aku mundur... dulu aku pernah merasa kamu ada rasa ke aku... dulu... aku belum ada rasa saat itu... Why lebih cepat dekat ke semua orang dibanding aku.. Mungkin bila aku ga nunjukkin klo aku juga ada rasa ke kamu, dan ga cawe2... kalian pasti wes lebih deket..
Diam, klo taklihat, kamu mudah putus asa... dan bukan tipe cowo seng ndeketi... jadi pasti... klo aku ga ada respon, kamu dah melepas...
Aku dah ga pernah BBM personal kamu selama 2 minggu tepat hari ini...
I'm tired of feeling bad. I'd rather feel nothing. It's better, it's easier. #DamnItsTrue
(aku mulai ga BBM karena emang ga mau terlalu berharap.. dg BBM, pasti aku berharap, tapi di nyatanya, aku bukan apa2... sakit... aku ga mau gtu lagi. Tapi kok aku ga BBM kamu sesudah kamu ultah yo?? aku mau mulai BBM lagi.. tapi ga papa ta? buat aku sendiri, yakin isa tulus temen?? buat Diam, ga mau bikin kamu GR. nek aku mulai dulan gapapa ta?)
Love is complicated when you always depend on your feeling. Sometimes you just need to use your brain. #ihatequotes
2 minggu ga BBM kamu membuatku bisa menyetel hatiku dari 60 vs 09 jadi 50 vs 09. "setelan e tak bener no"----->tu status BB ku... Mind ku juga membantu aku, dia bertanya, kamu lak pingin orang yang perhatian kan?? yang selalu ada kaya Papamu kan? Diam sejauh ini cuma "almost here", entah karena alasan apa?? benerkah kamu begitu menginginkan Diam? klo tidak, relakanlah... ~~KEBESARAN dan KETETAPAN HATI~~
untuk kebaikanmu sendiri, Diam belum lulus tes "ALWAYS HERE"
untuk kebaikan DIAM, Why lebih bisa memperhatikan n memanjakan DIAM
untuk kebaikan grup, cold war ini bakal berakhir

Pa n Ma Bear, gapapa ta? ketoke setelan e rodok mantep kali ni... Confius, r u there? I will also ask my close co-workers. Last but BIGGEST, Ask MY FATHER in heaven... (^c^,)

Afraid to hope...

Dear Diam,

I am exhausted. Am I being too suspicious over things? Or am I trying to eliminate all of those suspicious things? I am completely LOST and left ALONE without GPS.

I wanted you to tell me your story, but you told her.
You did nothing wrong, but that hurt me.
I wanted you to ask my help, but you asked her help.
You did nothing wrong, but that hurt me.
I triggered you to be curious abt me, but you persistently said NO.
You did nothing wrong, but that made me sad.
When I was alone, I hoped you would came over, but she approached you and both of you laughed together.
You did nothing wrong, but that made me sad.

My heart shouted but my lips were sealed perfectly.
You somehow had already taken all my courage...
You somehow made me feeling too afraid to hope and try...

I want to be mad at you, but then you will think of me as a mad girl.
That's why I retreat...
Look into my eyes, please.. Maybe you will understand...
I don't like silent good bye, but I am really LOST and don't know what else I can do.

Even if I really left, will you notice it? Will you ask me why?
For that too, my mind warns me so loud..
For only that too, I am afraid to hope..

Homogenic - Seringan Awan

Di sini semua berawal
Walau seribu tanya bicara
Terbungkam oleh pesona

Tanpa arah semakin jauh
Ku bertahan
Haruskah ku hilang tanpa pesan?
Akankah kurindu semua kesan?
Itulah hatiku
Rasakan yang berbeda
Itulah pikirku
Bawaku ke duniamu
Itulah harapku
Akankah engkau mengerti?
Bila hadirmu
Buat hatiku seringan awan

Disini semua terungkap
Walau nyata enggan berkata
Membisu oleh prahara

Tanpa arah semakin jauh
Ku bertahan
Haruskah ku hilang tanpa pesan?
Akankah kurindu semua kesan?
Itulah hatiku
Rasakan yang berbeda
Itulah pikirku
Bawaku ke duniamu
Itulah harapku
Akankah engkau mengerti?
Bila hadirmu
Buat hatiku seringan awan

Pa&Ma Bear, Thank You!!

Thanks ya, Pa n Ma Bear buat doa damai nya...
Tu kan Doa Damai yang persis di misa?? hehe... takpikir Doa Damai seng lain... wes hapal (wakaakkak, tidak bermaksud buat gaya kok... cuma ngomong aja..)

Klo jujur, sebener e, sekarang bagian yang paling membuatku tak nyaman saat mengikuti misa bersama dengan arek2 adalah bagian ini. Setiap kali bagian ini, hatiku pasti memberontak berkata kalau aku berbohong.. Dari luar semuanya kelihatan baik2 saja, tetapi sebenarnya dari dalam, hubunganku dengan Why sudah sangatlah TAWARRRR...

Kita bersalaman hanya karena formalitas... hatiku bener2 protes, tapi aku tidak bisa kembali seperti dulu lagi... mungkinkah suatu saat kelak?? Amin. (Yang jelas, bila memang bisa, pasti bukan karena kemauanku murni semata, pasti karena pengaturanMu, Tuhan....)

Tentang hal kedua, bantu aku menyelesaikannya... Aku masih belum tahu harus berbuat bagaimana... Aku belum cerita ke siapapun... Aku marah... dan jengkel juga... protes juga, semudah itu dilepas?? Don't know what to say....

Is this your reply?? Don't know what to say...

IGNORANCE, by: Paramore

If I'm a bad person, you don't like me
Well I guess I'll make my own way
It's a circle
A mean cycle
I can't excite you anymore
Where's your gavel? Your jury?
What's my offense this time?
You're not A JUGDE but if you're gonna judge me
Well sentence me to another life

Don't wanna hear your sad songs
I don't wanna feel your pain
When you swear it's all my fault
Cause you know we're not the same (no)
We're NOT THE SAME (no)
Oh we're not the same
Yeah the friends who stuck together
We wrote our names in blood
But I guess you can't accept that the change is good (hey)
It's good (hey)
It's good

Well you treat me just like another stranger
Well it's nice to meet you sir
I guess I'll go
I best be on my way out
You treat me just like another stranger
Well it's nice to meet you sir
I guess I'll go
I best be on my way out

Ignorance is your new best friend
Ignorance is your new best friend

This is the best thing that could've happened
Any longer and I wouldn't have made it
It's not a war no, it's not a rapture
I'm just a person but you can't take it
The same tricks that, that once fooled me
They won't get you anywhere
I'm not the same kid from your memory
Well now I can fend for myself

Don't wanna hear your sad songs
I don't wanna feel your pain
When you swear it's all my fault
Cause you know we're not the same (no)
We're not the same (no)
Oh we're not the same
Yeah we USED TO stick together
We wrote our names in blood
But I guess you CAN'T ACCEPT that the change is good (hey)
It's good (hey)
It's good

Well you treat me just like another stranger
Well it's nice to meet you sir
I guess I'll go
I best be on my way out
You treat me just like another stranger
Well it's nice to meet you sir
I guess I'll go
I best be on my way out

Ignorance is your new best friend
Ignorance is your new best friend
Ignorance is your new best friend
Ignorance is your new best friend

Well you treat me just like another stranger
Well it's nice to meet you sir
I guess I'll go
I best be on my way out
You treat me just like another stranger
Well it's nice to meet you sir
I guess I'll go
I best be on my way out

@.@ ----------> (^C^,)

Before GOD

An old man sold toys in the Baghdad market. Knowing that his sight was not quite perfect, his customers sometimes paid him with fake money.

The old man discovered the ruse, but did not say anything.
In his prayers he asked God to forgive those who cheated him.
“Perhaps they’re short of money and want to buy presents for their children,” he said to himself.

The time passed and the old man died. Standing before the gates of Heaven, he prayed once more:
- Lord! – he said. – I am a sinner. I did many wrong things, I am no better than the false coins I was paid. Forgive me!

At that moment the gates swung open and a Voice was heard:
- Forgive what? How can I judge someone who all through his life never once passed judgment on others?

BEFORE GOD, by: Paulo Coelho, August 30th, 2011.

“Beneath every fear lies the pearl of hope.”

"The greatest influence in your life, stronger than your will power, is your environment. Change that, if necessary. Untill you are mentally strong, you can never be what you want to be without a good environment."
~Paramahansa Yogananda~
By: Lessons Learned In Life

~:~::~:~::~::~:~::~:~::~:~::~:~::~:~::~:~::~:~::~:~::~:~::~:~::~:~::~:~::~:~::~:~::~

A young couple moves into a new neighborhood. The next morning while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbor hanging the wash outside. “That laundry is not very clean”, she said. “She doesn’t know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap.” Her husband looked on, but remained silent.

Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry, the young woman would make the same comments. About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband: “Look, she has learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this.” The husband said, “I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows.”

And so it is with life. What we see when watching others depends on the purity of the window through which we look. ~♥
By: Things that make you go :]

"~"~"~"~"~"~""~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"

A lion came across a group of cats having a chat. “I’m going to devour them,” he thought. But then an odd feeling of calm came over him. And he decided to sit down with them and pay attention to what they were saying.

- Good God! – said one of the cats, without noticing the lion’s presence. – We have prayed all afternoon! We asked for the skies to rain mice on us!
- And so far nothing has happened! – said another. – I wonder if the Lord really exists.

The skies remained mute. And the cats lost their faith.
The lion rose and went on his way, thinking: “funny how things are. I was going to kill those animals, but God stopped me. And even so, they stopped believing in divine grace. They were so worried about what was missing that they did not even notice the protection they were given.”

~Paulo Coelho's Blog, 12th of August, 2011.

*****************************************************************************


There I dedicated that sentence to some1, Here I dedicated that line to some1 else.
“Beneath every fear lies the pearl of hope.” -- Gabriella Goddard --

tertusuk duri bunga

WAAAAAA>>>>>>>WAAA>>>>>>>WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Aku tak tahu harus bercerita apa?? Aku kah yang salah? Kenapa kamu berpikir seperti itu?? Aku sama sekali tidak ada pikiran seperti itu... Karena itulah, aku marah, aku tidak terima...

Mungkin kamu merasa kalau aku semakin cerewet, dulu ku tak begini... Aku sendiri merasa bahwa akhir2 ini ku semakin cerewet. Sebagai sohib, seharusnya kita bisa saling menegur kejelekan teman kita...

Dulu, karena kamu mutung an, aku malas menegur, daripada nanti kamu mutung?? Pusing aku malahan... Aku tau kamu dan mencoba menutupinya... Aku tau kamu, tetapi selama tidak ada yang protes, ya kudiamkan... Buat apa aku yang ribut?? Sebab biasanya kamu bakal menjawab ini aku apa adanya, jadi karena kita sudah dekat, baru aku berani seperti ini... BENAR juga. Bukankah teman menerima APA ADAnya?? Aku tidak bisa menjwab untuk pertanyaan ini.

Aku tahu kamu NETI, masalahnya apa yang kamu pikir tu SALAH. Dan kamu langsung menyimpulkan sendiri, tanpa bertanya ke aku, mengambil tindakan berdasarkan itu.
Aku baru tahu sesudahnya. ITU SEMUA PIKIRANMU...

Argumenmu yang pertama kenapa kamu sampai seperti itu, seakan menyiratkan aku supaya melakukan sesuatu yang tidak bisa kulakukan... You can't force ME doing something that's not ME...

Argumen keduamu menunjukkan bahwa kamu tidak kenal aku... Aku bukan orang seperti itu.. Itulah adalah caramu berpikir, dan kamu menganggap bahwa aku berpikir seperti itu... Those ALL are YOUR own thought...

JENGKELLLLL.... sebab memang aku TIDAK berpikir seperti itu...
SEBEELLL.... karena setelah dijelaskan pun, penjelasan itu TIDAK cukup...
KESEEELLL.... sebab aku sampai sekarang BELUM tahu bagaimana menghadapi hal ini..