New intention

Menonton Glee kemaren menyentil hatiku... Dear girl, what have you done?? Yup, selama ini aku sudah menahan segala sesuatunya... berlaku setengah hati ke Why, sering marah2 ga jelas ke DIAM, dan berlari-lari menghindar dari mereka berdua. Aku tidak dewasa sama sekali... Tapi, jujur itu reaksi spontanku... Sorry, this my first. I really meant those words, though those words are not originally mine.
Yang kulihat kemaren di Glee adalah akhirnya persahabatanlah yang bertahan... Ketulusan dalam persahabatan... Tadi pagi aku sudah bicara ke Tin2 bahwa aku akan meletakkan semuanya dan mulai segalanya dari awal lagi... tidak ada cemburu2, juga tidak ada kejar-mengejar--seperti kata the corrs, If I don't try, I don't hope, juga tidak ada lagi perlakuan dingin ke Why. I am really trying... Help me to really do it, God. That was what I prayed this morning.
It never occur to my mind that my intention would be soon put into a test in the very afternoon. This afternoon, i received a sms from Why telling me that we will sleep at the same room this Saturday. Oh my!! God, I am not ready for this.. Honestly, I am willing to be more gentle towards her, but not this close...
I shared this to Tintin. "Ce, you just complicated everything. Remember you went there to have fun with all of them, especially Ce Luisa. That's the main point."
Yup, Tin2 is right. Why should I feel afraid?? No, I am not afraid, I just feel a bit awkward, staying at the same room with her..
Tonight I think I have already be more gentle towards her. Fatherrr.. but she is still the same.. Yeah, rumahnya dekat dari Pegasus, tapi aku berpikir daripada dia berjalan sendiri, tentu semua orang akan berpikiran sama denganku, dan menyuruhnya ikut dengan kita... Kupikir begitu sampai di rumahnya , dia akan turun ternyata dia malah ikut berputar dengan kita... Aku peduli dengan dia daripada dia jalan sendiri, lebih baik ikut kita.. tapi dia tidak mengerti aku, she didn't let me to spend time together with DIAM... A friend will understand her friend's mind even if she doesn't say it. Why, I know you understand me well, but you just so selfish... God, please help me to stick to what I intend to do..
Father, I am not sure with what I have just seen at pegasus.. He rubbed his eyes when He was on the phone. Was I mistaken? or was it really true?? Yeah, DIAM, you touched my heart again.. Should I ask him?? Help me, Father to make a decision..
Just keep a friendship label in your heart and mind! Be more sincere and expect less! Be a true sincere friend..

Sometimes, things just have to happen to see how I actually feel about someone. #DamnItsTrue
Please guide my way always, Father! Thank you! Good nite, Father..